So Much

I haven't had time to update my blog but my life didn't stop (even though I would like it to). Here's what happened in a matter of three weeks…

PHILO 1

From 2.25, my grade is now 1.5… Don't know what happened. Perhaps my prof had nightmares of me burying him alive for a grade I did not deserve. Haha.

PHILO 171

The most nerve-wrecking and mind-blowing and nose-bleeding subject of my life (So far). Philosophy of Ethics. Who would have thought I would fear a professor as much as I do now? Hehe.

FRESHMEN ORIENTATION BOOBOOs:

The power went off because something exploded somewhere that delayed (and almost rescheduled) the much-prepared event of the year (OA).

The speakers broke because they blasted when the power went back (Where did it go ba?! Haha.)

I stuttered and trembled all throughout my speech (for ROTARACT). Hell, I hate my stage fright. I don't know what I was talking about and my speech went around in circles. The single piece of paper that I was holding moved in all possible directions because I was shaking while my body lost all its water because of perspiring too much.

I danced. Hay.. For the love of BMS. I really did. Huhu.

First and Last Blues

Today is the first day of this school year. It would (hopefully) be my last year in college. My day started out fine. I was feeling indifferent at first because it would be one of the many firsts in my life that would not matter much later on. I woke up early because my first class is at 8am. Again, for the nth time in my college life, I am late. Luckily, my teacher was also late (40 minutes lates actually). Then, I was happy and elated to have my friends and classmates around me again. I missed them. There were fewer freshies compared to last school year's freshmen population. Although, I don't care much. Hehe. I have nothing against being a freshman but I don't like the thought of it. Pathetic. They are like gladiators thrown in a colosseum (Did I spell it right?) with beasts, ready to pounce them to death. Hehe. And then, there are some who would kiss uppermen's asses just because they are new. And when they get the hang of the new environment, they act as though they have been there all their life. Waaaah. I talk as if I never went through that. Crap. Haha. Anyway, this would be my last (hopefully) year in college and I'm planning to make it the best. Wuhoo! Ajah! Haha.

Hmmm…

A forwarded text message struck me last week. It somehow summed up everything I feel right now. It's everything I wanted to tell him…

"Leave someone, you have that right. But the least you can do is tell them why. Because what's even worse, what's even more painful than being abandoned, is knowing that you're not even worth an explanation."

Hay… Tulog na lang tayo. Mas masaya pa. Haha. Be happy.ü

TV Line

"People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret road maps of their personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers." –Meredith from "Grey's Anatomy"

True. Time have passed quickly. When I look back, it seems like everything happened a long time ago. I often tell others how much I have grown as a person after he left but then behind the told story, truth is as much as I tell myself and others that I am over it, the pain remains. I do not even know if it could possibly go away.