Blah As Always

Sometimes, we give in to our emotions just because we got tired of working against it. We seem to be in favor of one thing just because it feels more right (or righter, for that matter). We like to think that we’d be happier if we chose one thing over the other because if we stay where we are, we’d be stuck more than ever. I don’t know why but today I feel less than before.

 Gets mo?

 Kailangan ko na talaga ng bagong pag-ibig para maiba at sumaya naman. Haha. )

Resignation

Just last week, I tendered my resignation from my present company. It was a decision I had to think over day and night for a month. I have a job, a stable job if I may say. I have friends at work who I could laugh with, cry with, and just share my life with. I have employees who respect me despite my young age and who treat me like someone important. Actually, even if there are times when my job gets into my nerves, I always end my day with a smile, thankful for a job that supports my luxuries in life and enables me to touch lives. I’ve got it all so why did I decide to quit my job?

When my department manager asked why I am resigning, all I said was “I have my personal reasons ma’am,” which I think is so lame of an answer.Think about it, who the hell would sign a resignation letter if all you tell her is that you’re resigning because of some vague personal reasons. I guess there are three things running in her mind when I said personal reasons: (a)I’m pregnant [which is impossible unless there is another Savior waiting to be born by divine intervention], (b)I’m getting married [which is again impossible because I don’t even remember being in a relationship], or (c)I have a criminal case [which is quite possible in the form of human trafficking, drug pushing, or murder]. Nonetheless, I still opted to use the personal reasoning just to maintain the mystery of my resignation.

As finale for this unsolicited chika minute, I would like to answer Boy Abunda’s final question in his interviews on the early The Buzz days, “Kung may salamin ngayon sa harap mo, anong sasabihin mo sa sarili mo?”

I’d answer nonchalantly and at the same time in my most vulnerable state, “Luci, you chose to risk it and whatever its consequences, you have to face them. As they say, you can’t swim to other places until you let go of your shores. The swim would be difficult but as long as you keep swimming, you’d go somewhere. I know you well, you’d get to wherever you want because you have the purest intentions and you’d kill yourself for something you really want. Work hard and pray hard.”

Bow.

Scary. Awoooo. Hehe.

My friend, Nic, said in her facebook wall that she was afraid of how he makes her feel.

I smiled. I totally feel the same (with a different guy, of course).

I am afraid that I might fall and he wouldn’t be there to catch me. I’ve been through a lot of falling and hurting and I fear that it would happen again.

I am afraid with the fact that I feel overwhelming happiness when I talk to him.

I am scared that this feeling would grow.

I don’t like to think about it but I couldn’t help myself.

There are certain times of the day when my thoughts turn to him and at these times, I feel my heart beating faster. 

It scares me. I wouldn’t want to risk.

Madly in Love

I want to be madly in love with someone.

I want to sleep with a smile just thinking of the possibility that I’d dream of him.

I want to wake up with a grin when I remember how beautiful my dream was because he was in it.

I want to fix myself early so he could see me at my best.

I want to start my day early so I could spend more hours with him.

I want to go to work and be reminded that I’d see him after eight hours.

I want to have my breaks so I could text or call him.  

I want to time out early after duty so I could meet him somewhere.

I want to dine with him so I could just stare at him for some time.

I want to ask him things because I know there’s still a lot I have to know about him.

I want to talk to him more becuse I know whatever he says I’ll just love him more.

I want him to bring me home so he’d know that I feel secure when I’m with him.

I want to text him after he’s gone so he’d know that I already miss him.

I want to lie in bed and just think back of my day with him.

I want to close my eyes and see his face.

ABC (just because i can’t think of a title)

1 Regret Something You Did In The Past?
quitting the one thing i thought i could fight for ’til the end.

2 Country You Wanna Visit:
definitely Australia

4 Like Thunderstorms?
nope. don’t want seeing people lose their homes and dying. really heart breaking.

5 Get Along W/ Your Parents?
yeah.

6 R U A Health Freak?
nope. i eat junk like there’s no tomorrow.

7 U Think Ur Attractive?
yeah.

8 Do You Believe In Yourself?
yeah. who else would?

9 Wanna Get Married?
yep. i haven’t found the one to marry.

15 Do U Hate Anyone?
nope. i’ve learned to live with the thinking that hate doesn’t do good to anyone, even to myself. why worry about those bad-ass? they might be enjoying themselves while i lull about my misery with them.

16 Can You Unwrap A Starburst W/ Your Tongue?
never tried.

21 Can You Walk In High Heels?
hardly. hehe. they make fun of me when i walk on heels. but, unfortunately, i have to at work. (

22 Do You Sleep W/ The Light On?
i used to but when i realized (just lately) that there are really no monsters under the bed, i’ve learned to live with the lights off. haha.

23 Do You Like Super Spicy Foods?
i like spicy food. not OA na super

24 Can You Multitask?
haha. funny ‘coz i was asked this question during the interview this morning. i said, yes, that’s what i do best. haha. kidding. 

25 Touch Your Nose W/ Your Tongue?
nope.

27 Do You Spit?
nope. i never do especially in public unlike those annoying jeepney drivers who spit whenever they feel the need to. i spit when brushing my teeth though. toothpaste doesn’t taste good when swallowed. trust me. haha.

28 Can You Taste The Difference Between Pepsi And Coke?
hell yeah! i’m sooo good at it. i could even tell if it’s coke light, coke zero, regular coke, coke cherry, pepsi light, diet pepsi, regular pepsi. haha. jang geum? haha.

29 If You Could Wish 4 Anything…What Would You Wish?
i wish everyone would have good food and shelter. i was watching Men of Light in our local channel this afternoon and i felt so guilty dreaming of materials things. i’ll vow from this day onwards, i’ll be more selfless. 

30 What Kind Of Perfume Or Cologne Do You Wear?
currently, i’m still a green tea by elizabeth arden lover.

31 What Kind Of Soap Do You Use?
top gel.

32 What’s Your Favorite Scent?
anything natural. not natural sweat. hehe. i like anything citrus-y or grass-y. hehe.

33 Would You Choose To Live Forever If You Could?
nope. i’ve never even dreamt of living until my 80s